CaligulaReplicant

I smelled her, like a wild dog, salivating my desire, a breaded path for others like me to follow,  and her smell I could not refuse, her smell I would not be but a captive of, my arms hanging limply at my sides, the weight of the shackles stretching my digits towards the ground I welcomed and longed for, and her smell, you could slice it with a knife, serving  it with a very old sipping whiskey, taking small breaths in between small sips, the fear of coughing, the reaction to the heated conquest of the whiskey, and the fear of coughing, her smell would sit as an elderly chapperone, casting a menacing eye at any air in the lungs daring to sha

Her fashion, once learned is glamorous and decaying, blinding in it's razor sharpness, awaiting the faintest scent of blood to arouse within her the fatal, paralyzing, machinations hidden by her deceitful nature. And I love her; I pine, balling my fists and tightening my elbow and knee joints in response to separation from her, and my eyes, my eyes squinting there support as my hands grip my face wishing and wanting to pull off the flesh, away from her dangers and sickness my eyelids want only to remain sealed eternally, seeing existence as a shared path with her, and all else naught. I am the addict enamored and possessed writhing for her a

that joke is my posture after a long day of ridicule bent and stooped   hunched and twisted  appearing in most respects to have many layers of disjointed bones yet without all the fanfare the glitz glamour just bones on top of bones smashed at odd angles that appear to have a pattern  a common     thing   yes a thing but no nothing    instinctual covering up of  and hiding behind the insides and always a little bit more inconspicous is the hammer that drives my bones as if nails against nails with little or no wood to adhere to   against each other grating   coughing  carreening       little lost kids i could imagine        sc

oh hell amidst the family i would lie through my teeth and balance perilously on the boundaries i abhore i would pretend to pretend dislike and even sometimes i would smother my head in bandages wailing hoarsely and cowering from their crackly skinned hands as they sought to poke and prod in the guise of caring and all the while i act as if i had jarred my brain to the point of non-remembrance hoping they would take advantage of the situation and abandon me at last at long last ever since she had gone they dont even come close to the back scratching mindless nakedness that i had  we had lost ourselves in inside i shudderred inside

I asked her how the air felt seeping softly past the graying visions her eyes once beheld, and to this she smiled as she did in the years before when life was light and pain was superficial, and her anger and her joy could not be distinguished from one another, even when laying side by side, and how they blended as one at just the right moment to become an urgent message writhing in their bottle, Siamese wish givers and doers of unto each other and under muscular arms in ages gone and still holding some form they now wanted to nurture carrying ever so delicately the twitch that would make us or break us on the very edge of life hearing in her